WHAT IT FEELS LIKE...

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.....

to be born beautiful...?
to be born rich...?
to be born popular...?
to be born respected...?
to be born with high IQ...?
to be  loved by everyone...?
to be loved by the one you loved too...?
to achieve your dreams...?
to be praised...?
to have everything that you desire...?
to have something that I never have...??

I might not a happy child from the day  that I was born... I might not the perfect girl that boys looking for... I might not the daughter-in-law that a mother is looking after... I might not graceful, patience, lovely, skillful, playful, joyful... but I have proud. what you are looking right now is the result of how people brings me up all these 20 years of living. I've been left out, I've been betrayed by good friends... I've been insulted... I've failed to achieve my dreams... I've been condemned for something that I never done... but yet even my own family never trust me..Just because I'm a girl... And because of that, I wished I'm a boy... I played boy's games.. football, basketball, climbing trees, kites, hide and seek, main tembak-tembak.. [ yes, I did and I stopped when I'm in secondary school]... I don't play dolls during my childhood days. I never have anything that I want. People look down at me...Because I don't act like a girl supposed to be. even until today people tends to make comparison of me with someone else.  Why I can't have my own life? Until one day I meet someone that I though will bring cheers to me... someone that understand me... someone that will never live me alone like what I have experienced back... dia janji tidak akan biarkan saya menangis sendirian... dia janji tidak akan biarkan saya sendirian lagi... dia janji akan sentiasa ada untuk saya... tapi di mana??


saya harap dia baca post ini... saya harap dia ada di sini... saya harap dia akan jadi kawan baik saya sampai bila-bila... saya harap saya dapat memahami dia... saya harap saya ada untuk dia seperti mana dia ada untuk saya satu ketika dahulu... saya harap... harapan saya bukan hanya setakat harapan...

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