INSIDE & OUTSIDE

what makes a person beautiful?

what makes you beautiful, dear... ?

I'm not interested of being beautiful outside, I'm interested of being beautiful inside where you can make people happy out of blue. 

I am a kind of person that generate negative vibes around me. People usually notice my negative vibes just by looking at me. Sometimes I wish I can make people happy and not making the air more tighter than what it suppose to be. Even when I stare blankly at others, people tend to misunderstand me of being angry. I keep on reminding myself to switch off my negative vibes around people, usually to those people that older than me. But just looking at their face, I know there's something not right about me that makes them feel uneasy. And that makes me even more negative towards them. 

It usually hurts when I find out that I can't mingles with people like others do. I might be a good listener, but I don't really make a good friend. Sometimes I wish people don't look at me so that they don't find out these negative vibes I send to others. And usually, those negative vibes are generated unintentionally. hmmm... Mostly, I guess. I'm kind of envy to those who mingle easily with others. Haha... guess that too, one of the reason for my negative vibes. 

I find out that I like to look at those who look simple and yet beautiful inside. And they really make me smile for no reason. I wish I can be like them. Making other people's day just by sending positive vibes around me. I believe, having a beautiful heart means a world to others.  And I want to be beautiful, not just outside, but also inside, cause inside matters most. :)